WBKE LIVE: June 2012

Last night Bobby and I recorded our very first live show!

I think it went pretty well, but I’m an idiot, so take that with a grain of salt. It was a lot like the regular podcast, except instead of having a host, we basically rotated in a few different people for a little while each. It was fun.

I got to talk about death and yell at Bobby, so I’m pretty happy about it. I want to give a huge thanks to everyone who joined us for the show, and also a huge apology for anyone I may have been mean to, without realizing it.

Anyway, go check out the show by clicking on this link:

WBKE LIVE: June 2012

So that’s that, thanks again everybody, I think Bobby and I are going to try to do something like this every once in a while. If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, please e-mail us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com, and as always remember to follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) and like our Facebook Page to get goofy updates and talk back to us about them.

Episode 25 of WBKE will be a new, different episode that Bobby and I recorded on the week I moved into my new apartment, and as such the audio is hazy, but deal with it, the show is fucking hilarious…And there’s a special something we talk about that you guys can get involved in!

WBKE – Episode 24: Lady and the Tramp

This week on WBKE, we’re joined by an amazing musician named Anthony Walker for a conversation that covers a startling amount of ground. This episode is about twice the length of an average episode of our show, because I honestly enjoy everything we talk about. As long as this episode is, there’s still more that isn’t making the cut! I just didn’t want to clip another minute, so enjoy our discussion of:

Shitty writing, philosophy, animal behavior, little people working as bouncers, forming bands, and The Poops (a band Bobby is/used to be in). We also play a fucking badass game toward the end of the show which I’m calling “Are You a Nice Person?” It’s genius, so enjoy that, because it’ll definitely be coming back.

So let me tell you about Anthony Walker. About 4 years ago, I was at a bar and there were different bands playing small sets. If you’ve listened to the show before, then you know that I (Will) am not the friendliest/nicest guy, and you can probably imagine that I don’t pay much attention to people I don’t know. Even still, I remember a guy playing a really awesome set. His music was really immersive. It totally grabbed my attention. Not long later, Anthony got a job with me at Fridays, and I instantly recognized him as the musician from the bar (which is also significant, because again, if you listen to the show, you know I have a fucking horrendous memory). He was that good.

For a good long time, on the odd occasion that I found myself hanging out and drinking at Fridays, I’d get fucking wasted (because everyone bought me drinks. It ruled), and inevitably Anthony and I would get around to drunkenly talking about how awesome it would be to have a combination music and comedy show.

Needless to say, I’m fucking stoked we had him on the show. So please go to his Band Camp page where you can set your own price for his music (Anthony says you can get it for free, but he’s nicer than me. Pay him.), and go to his personal website where you can info about him and links to a shocking number of sites like YouTube and Tumblr: Anthony Walker.

So back to the show:

Click here to listen straight from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Go search for “WBKE” on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Or for more detailed instructions, click here!

Let me remind you that there is going to be a LIVE WBKE this thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern, over at Vokle! Go check out the site and get comfortable with it (search “Will and Bobby Know Everything” and follow us), and like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get an update about when we’ve gone live!

Also email us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com will comments, suggestions, or questions for us to talk about! Remember that you can speak directly to us while we talk, too! It’s a video chat so get your webcam going and bring something to the table! It’ll be stupid and fun!

Enjoy this week’s episode, I did!

Also, at the end, enjoy Anthony’s song “Call Me Custer,” from This City Never Sleeps, which has been stuck in my head all week.

Allie and I painted our apartment today, and we were both walking around singing that song, so good. Also “Sundowners.”

Booyeah.

LIVE EPISODE THIS THURSDAY! EPISODE 25 NEXT WEEK!

WBKE – Episode 23: Travel

This week on WBKE, my girlfriend Allie Palmer is back on the show to talk about her experiences in travelling around the world.

One of them is mind-blowingly amazing, and I guess the other one is too…It’s just also incredibly fucked up.

On the show, we typically try to separate repeat-appearances of a guest host by about 10 episodes (unless we’re doing a two-parter). That being the case, the last time Allie was on the show was for Episode 13, and coincidentally the day this new episode is going online happens to not only be the day that Allie and I are moving into our first apartment together, but also on her 25th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLIE!

So in all likelihood, as you listen to this show, Allie and I are setting up our place (including an office that I’ll use as a fancy little recording studio)!

Maybe you want to help make her day by checking out her Etsy Store: Color Bloc!

But anyway, listen to this episode, it’s so goddamn funny. I’m absurdly proud of it:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Or search for show on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher as well as on basically any podcast database (like Zune…if for some reason you have a Zune)

If you need more detailed instructions, click here!

And we’re getting pretty damn close to the date of the live show, which is Thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern on http://www.Vokle.com! Go to the site now and get comfortable with it! You can watch the live show without signing in at all, or you can create  a Vokle account or just log in via your Facebook or Twitter accounts! You’ll be able to submit questions for us to answer (either as text or a live video) and talk back to us as we goof around!

So like our Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get updates about when we’re live and feel free to send comments or questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com

We really enjoy doing this show,  so if you like us, please help us spread the word about the show! If we make you chuckle, tell a friend or two to check us out!

Regardless, enjoy the show!

Episode 24 next week!

Scary Story Time: June 2012

Quick disclaimer: I’m a really big fan of horror movies and scary stories. Recently I’ve been finding a lot of interesting little scary stories written anonymously by people on the internet, so I decided to start sharing some of the ones I like. You should know, before you read on, that I did not write any of these stories, unless otherwise noted. You should also know that I won’t always be posting stories that I enjoy 100%. There could be a ten-page story that I post because I like one sentence of it. In that case, I assume I’ll explain why I posted horse-shit and what merit I see in it. Sometimes, I’ll post “scary” stories that I hate, think are stupid, or maybe even funny. But more than that, you should really know that some of these stories may be somewhat graphic, so just steel yourself for anything, especially poor spelling and grammar (I don’t edit these stories). No matter what, though, I hope you enjoy them too, and if you know any stories or sources, please share them with me. Also, if you have any requests, just ask, I have a huge archive of this stuff!

Hey guys, I have a pretty goddamn good story for you this month. It’s the kind of story that’s written well enough to give you a solid mental image of what’s going on. Try to picture this story as taking place wherever you grew up. I definitely picture my neighborhood. Anyway, let’s just get into it:

A Game of Flashlight Tag

When I was ten, I played a late night game of flashlight tag with a bunch of neighborhood kids. If you don’t know what flashlight tag is, it’s the same as tag, but you play it in the dark, the person who’s “it” gets a flashlight, and they have to yell the name of the person they see with it in order to “tag” them. It was really cloudy that night, and most people had their curtains drawn, so it was the perfect level of darkness for hiding in.
The side of the street my house was on was skirted by a broad length of woods. That was basically the boundary for our side of the game. You could run through any yard, even go across the street and run through their yards, but you weren’t allowed to hide in the woods, because it was too difficult to find anyone in there, and it was very easy to trip over tree limbs or end up with poison oak. Of course, this rule was frequently and flagrantly ignored when people got too close to being caught. They’d duck off into the bushes for a few seconds, or run behind a group of trees to evade capture.
I don’t remember who was it at the time, but I was hiding in a backyard two houses down from my house. The family that lived there had a little playhouse for their daughter, a swing set and a doghouse but no dog. I would periodically duck into the doghouse whenever I saw the flashlight’s searching beam approaching. Those of us trying to hide from the “it” person liked to spook each other in the dark by jumping out of nowhere and making each other scream, giving away our positions.
I thought I knew where the “it” guy was, but I got comfortable hanging out on the swing set. Suddenly, a person with a flashlight came around the corner of the house and angled it almost directly at me. I jumped and ran for the edge of the woods. When I got there, I hovered in case they saw me and were going to yell at me for cheating. The beam of light seemed to explore the swing set where I was, then came in my direction, but there was no sense of hurry at all to it, and I wondered for a second if maybe I’d attracted the attention of the homeowner. Most people on the block knew we were out playing flashlight tag, but you never can be sure that someone won’t get nervous if you stay in their yard too long. So I crouched down in the grass and waited to see who it was.
They shined the light right in my face and I tried to cover it with my hand to avoid identification. The creepy thing was, they never said anything, just shined that light on me.
“You got me!” I exclaimed, hoping that if it was a homeowner, they’d realize I thought they were the flashlight tagger. Then I realized that two houses down, people were yelling and there was the “it” guy’s flashlight beam chasing them around.
I stood up and tried to see who was shining the light on me. They just stood there, not moving, not saying anything. I felt a little freaked out.
“If you don’t want us playin’ in your yard, I’ll go tell them it’s off limits, okay?”
The person started walking toward me. I didn’t feel right, so I started walking toward the edge of the yard. The person just kept shining the light on me and coming toward me.
So I ran.
When I looked back, the person with the flashlight was running too, and they were an adult, much bigger and much faster than me. I felt scared now, not sure why this person was chasing me. I was running toward where the other kids had been, but they were gone now. It just seemed to be me and the person with the flashlight. So I turned right and ducked into the woods. I dropped to the ground, shaking bushes and stuff to try to confuse the person, then shimmied under a ring of thick bushes and curled up. I could see the flashlight in the woods with me, looking around. I could hear the person’s footsteps breaking sticks and crunching on pine needles. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on, and I just wanted to get back to all the other kids. Eventually, the flashlight wandered deeper into the woods and I crawled quiet as a mouse back to the edge of the trees and then got up and ran toward the street.
I was immediately caught by the person who was “it”, but I didn’t care. He yelled loud that I was now “it” and I tried to tell him that there was someone else with a flashlight wandering around in the woods, but he took off into the dark yelling about “no tag backs”.
“Don’t go in the woods!” I yelled, but nobody responded. Of course, any who heard me would just assume I was talking about not cheating at the game, but I was sincerely worried about that person wandering around in them. Of course, now I had a flashlight of my own, so I thought, I should go and see if I can find out who that was, just to make myself feel better.
I went back behind the house I’d come from and a bunch of laughing shadows scampered out of sight into neighboring yards. I ignored them and headed straight for the trees. I couldn’t see any other light in there, so I thought, maybe he went home. I didn’t know if it was a man or a woman, but I didn’t imagine any women trudging through the woods at night.
So I went about playing the game again, albeit anxious because of the lingering thought that there was someone wandering in the woods who didn’t seem to be playing the game with us. I ran across the street and chased people through the backyards there, but after a while I found the lots empty and realized that they must have gone back across the street. I ran back over and was exploring the Beeches’ backyard. Mrs. Beeche had a clothesline with a bunch of drying sheets on it, and her daughter Charlotte liked to hide among the linens and stay close to home in case she got too scared of the dark. She was only a year younger than me.
I thought I heard something at the tree line, so I went over and was waving the flashlight around into the woods.
“Stay outta the woods!” I remember yelling. I waved the flashlight back and forth a couple more passes, then saw someone off in the distance. I held the light on whoever it was. They were about half a job into the woods, hard to make out, but it looked to me like Charlotte. Charlotte had brown hair that her mother insisted on keeping shoulder length. We always dressed dark for flashlight tag, and Charlotte liked to wear this deep purple sweatshirt, so it was usually easy to tell when you had found her.
“Charlotte I see you!” I yelled. She just stood there. I continued to hold the light on her and call her name, but she didn’t seem to move. She stood there partially obscured by a tree and looked at me. The distance between us was enough that I couldn’t see if she was blinking or not, but she had her head propped at an angle like she was looking around the trunk at me with her mouth hanging slightly open. Every now and then she sorta twitched or squirmed. It was a real freaky kinda movement.
“Charlotte! Come out of there!” I yelled. “Everybody! Charlotte’s it, but she won’t come out of the woods!” Some kids including my friend Dustin appeared behind me and started joining in my yell for Charlotte to come out.
“Do you see her?” I asked.
“Yeah, she’s over behind that tree. Charlotte, get over here!” Dustin said. But she wouldn’t come. “Charlotte, are you okay? Get over here, dummy!”
Charlotte seemed to stand up straighter and then disappear behind the tree. We could hear movement, but it seemed to be going away rather than toward us. Dustin started shouting Charlotte’s name again and trudging into the woods after her, but I grabbed him and gave him the flashlight to take with him. I was scared again, because this all seemed surreal. I went to Charlotte’s house and knocked until her father answered.
“Mr. Beeche, Charlotte won’t come out of the woods, and I’m worried about her,” I told him. I wasn’t sure if he’d take me seriously, but he rolled up his newspaper and disappeared into the closet behind the door for a moment before returning with a huge flashlight strapped to a car battery.
“Show me where she is,” he told me, so I lead him to the woods and pointed to where I’d seen her.
“She was right there,” I said, “by a tree, but she wouldn’t come out and she was acting like she was sick or something.” A bunch of the other kids kept calling Charlotte, Charlotte and I could see Dustin’s flashlight beam moving around through the trees. Mr. Beeche went in after him.
They explored the woods for a good fifteen to twenty minutes, and Mr. Beeche started getting real angry. We could hear him yelling very loudly for Charlotte, threatening her with all sorts of punishments if she didn’t get her ass back in the backyard that instant. The game was over by now, and we kids just stood there in the Beeches’ back yard among the linens and watched. Dustin came running back out of the bushes with a dead flashlight. Eventually, Mr. Beeche came back out of the woods.
“Game over, kids,” he said, “Get inside. Ask your folks if they can help me and to bring flashlights.”
We all ran back home. My dad went out with three different flashlights. My mother went and turned on all the lights in the back rooms and opened the curtains and shades to help illuminate the back yard. I sat on the couch all upset and she eventually came back and hugged me and sat with me while I told her about the person with the flashlight chasing me and how I thought maybe Charlotte had run into him.
Mr. Beeche had gone inside and called them to report a missing child. They brought huge lights and did a march through the woods checking very thoroughly, but didn’t find her. My mother told my dad what I’d told her, he told an officer and I ended up giving a statement. They went to the house three doors down and knocked, but the folks that lived there had been asleep and didn’t know who would have been in their backyard. The police asked all up and down the neighborhood, but nobody claimed to know anything.
The other end of the woods came to a back road mainly used by logging trucks. They found Charlotte two days later, on the other side of the logging road, down an embankment that ended at a stream, stuffed into a drain pipe. Her neck had been broken and she was apparently stabbed multiple times afterward. My parents wouldn’t tell me about it, they thought it would upset me, but Dustin told me all the details at school the next day.
It was the most awful thing our town had ever had happen. The police blocked off the logging road and spent months tracking down loggers and truckers who frequently used it. There was a curfew for months and we were told not to play flashlight tag anymore. We didn’t argue.
What leaves me shaking to this day is the memory of Charlotte’s face, hanging out from behind the tree, looking at me. Sometimes I wonder if at that moment, I had been witnessing her death. And I wonder if that had almost been me.

The End

That story rules. It basically trudges up every fear I ever had of strangers, as a kid. Anyway, remember that you can get more scary stories by clicking on the “Scary Story Time” category in the right sidebar, and if you have any scary stories, or even a comment/question, email me at WillAndBobby@gmail.com

And because I don’t want to send you back into the world with a chill in your spine, here’s something to obliterate all lingering fear:

More scary stories next month!

WBKE – Episode 22: Aliens, Zombies, and Missing People

This week’s episode of WBKE is a little different. For a number of reasons, this week we don’t have a guest host, and this week Bobby and I aren’t even in the same room.

We’ll get back to normal next week, but for now, enjoy this conversation Bobby and I had about such mysteries as:

The disappearance of Amelia Earhart

The legend of the Mary Celeste ghost ship

Why people thought the War of the Worlds radio broadcast was real

Yes, it’s different, but it’s also awesome. Check it out and let us know what you think:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Or find us on the free Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Now go check out http://www.Vokle.com and get familiar with the layout, because on Thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm (eastern) Bobby and I are doing a LIVE SHOW from my sweet new apartment! We’ll be goofing around and talking with anyone that comes in, logs in (via Facebook and Twitter as well), and talks back! So go “like” our Facebook Page (click here) and follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) for updates about that show and other goofy bullshit.

And send in any other questions for us to address on the live show (or fun stories for us to read) to WillAndBobby@gmail.com. Bonus points to anyone who brings me an interesting story of the paranormal. Extra bonus points if you’ve personally had an encounter with a ghost/alien/monster!

I hope you like the show guys, and if it makes you chuckle, please help us spread the word!

Episode 23 next week!

WBKE – Episode 21: There’s Something Wrong with Dan Aykroyd

This week on WBKE we’re once again joined by Michael Palmer, but this time we’re talking all about movies. It gave me a good excuse to freak out about geeky shit.

Right off the bat, though, we start talking about one of my favorite fucking weird franchises: Ghostbusters.

Check the show out, and let us know what you thing here or by emailing WillAndBobby@gmail.com! You should also like our Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby)!

Also, just a reminder that Bobby and I are doing a live WBKE on Thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern time! It’s going to be on http://www.Vokle.com! We ran a dry run a few days ago, and it’s incredible. You don’t have to create an account if you don’t want to, I’ll post the link on our Facebook and Twitter accounts once we go live (so it’s important that you like/follow us) and you can either sit and watch, or create a Vokle account for free to submit text or LIVE VIDEO questions to us! You can sit at home, and ask a question face-to-face with us! I’ll put up a full post here with how to do it eventually, but it’s shockingly fucking easy. You can even log in via Facebook and Twitter. It’s awesome, and we have stupid shit planned.

Anyway, back to this weeks WBKE:

Click here to listen from your computer!

Click here to go to the iTunes page!

Or search “WBKE” on the free Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Episode 22 next week!

Will and Bobby Wrote Something: Part Two

To go back to Part One: click here!

How incredible is it that the name we came up with for our zombie TV show sounds like a weird bitter retort to “The Walking Dead?”

The Dead Don’t Walk.

How amazing is that?

“‘The Walking Dead,’ huh? You know… the dead don’t walk. Morons.”

As stupid and crazy as all this sounds, I still 100% stand by The Dead Don’t Walk. I love the name, I love the concept, and I love our version of zombies.

Being a fan of horror films, I’m familiar with a lot of different versions of zombies. Without a doubt, the most well known and accepted versions of zombies are the ones from Night of the Living Dead. Prior to that, zombies weren’t shambling cannibal corpses, but were rather sort of mindless voodoo victims, carrying out someone’s orders.

George Romero (the writer/director) somehow redefined the word “zombie” for all time. There have been other revisions, however.

From the Return of the Dead (separate franchise) series, we get the “braaaaaiiiins” zombies, from the 28 Days/Weeks Later franchise we get the “not-a-zombie” Rage Virus victims, and there are countless examples of running, screaming, plotting, talking zombies.

There’s no denying that you can’t improve upon the original Romero zombies. They’re too perfect. They’re like the iPad. Apple somehow figured out the formula for a perfect tablet. It feels right and competitors are still playing catch-up.

Romero’s zombies feel right.

Bobby and I decided right away, without any discussion on the matter, that the original Romero zombies were what people wanted to see. The shuffling, mindless, hungry, angry reanimated corpses of loved ones.

We did, however, realize that to just take those zombies and build a show around them, while cool, is not ours. That’s not our idea. That’s just plucking characters out of one situation and putting them in another. Alternatively, that’s Bobby and me grabbing a 2 hour movie by it’s beginning and ending, and stretching it into a 13 episode TV show.

Bobby and I created a version of zombies similar to the Romero’s, but we added the potential for an explanation. We added new weaknesses, and also new strengths.

The treatment we cooked up for The Dead Don’t Walk is interesting, but it’s also overlong and a little batshit, so just read this portion of it (I’ll post the full thing at the end, for those curious), where we explain what our zombies are (notice that you can zoom in or click the arrow to help when reading):

It’s a little clumsily written (get used to that), but the facts are great:

They’re blind. The survivors learn to take advantage of that weakness. The monsters can still sense light (like you can even when your eyes are closed), but because of that blindness, their other senses are hightened. Every sound could be the signal that gives you away. They can smell you enter a room. If you’re careful enough, you can travel right through a street filled with them. The Dead Don’t Walk would have been filled with moments of quiet tension. Uncertainty. We’d get face-to-face with our monsters.

Enough of this, I’ve definitely made my point. The Dead Don’t Walk was an interesting show that we came up with way to late (and again, no one knows who we are), and clearly I still love it. Maybe you’ll like it, too, and so without further delay, here’s a brief script Bobby and I wrote. The only character from this story that would appear in the final show is Gray, who you can learn a little more about in the full treatment I’ll post a link to at the end of this post. It’s not a full episode, it’s just a little 15 minute story that establishes the world and the tone. I hope you enjoy it:

There you have it. “The Alley.” In case you didn’t realize why Gray (I might hate this name now) didn’t help them at the end, he was afraid that the sound of his gun would give him away to that third group of monsters. Already being exposed under that street light, he couldn’t risk it. I’m not sure if we made that clear, though it makes perfect sense. Anyway, as I said, here’s a link to the full treatment, where you can learn a little more about him and a whole lot about people that you’ll never get to see:

The Dead Don’t Walk – Treatment

Thanks for reading, guys, I hope you enjoyed. I’m really pretty excited that we can sort of put these old scripts to some use. They’ve just been sitting on a hard drive, and in the back of my mind, for a long time. Please feel free to comment or email us with your thoughts of not only The Dead Don’t Walk, but also this whole Will and Bobby Wrote Something endeavor. You can get us at WillandBobby@gmail.com. Also feel free to follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) and like us on Facebook.

Next week we’re going to wrap up The Dead Don’t Walk. There’s one last script (a companion piece to “The Alley”), and maybe I’ll give some more info about where the plot of the show would have gone. Maybe.

Click here to go on to Part Three!