WBKE – Episode 65: The Wishboys

Wahoo, and wehoo everyboday! Rock your body!

This week on Will and Bobby we’re granting all your wishes, by distorting them into grotesque punishments. Here’s a good example of what’s going on:

Allie: I wish that Bill Gates would suddenly decide that I’m responsible for inspiring him for all his brilliant ideas. He then sends me a percentage of his profits.

Bobby: Okay, “Bill Gates” is a crazy redneck who sends you dead animals in the mail.

Me: Yeah, you didn’t explicitly state what “Bill Gates” your referring to, so now a crazy person is putting dead animals in our mailbox.

Click here to hear stuff like that!

And then:

iTunes!                   @BobbyKoester!               Facebook!              @WillRogers2000!                YouTube!

Feel free to send comments or questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com, and we’ll be sure to get back to you!

Episode 66 next week!

WBKE – Kinda/Sorta Halloween Special! AND Scary Story Time: October 2012

Hey guys, first up,  I have to apologize for being a day late in getting these posts to you. Here in New Jersey we’ve holed up, waiting out the rain in the dark, but all that’s behind us now because I’ve got not only the Halloween podcast for you, but also this month’s Scary Story Time!

So first up, here’s an hour long show filled with not only submitted stories from friends and listeners, but also filled with some of our own experiences, which you can get by:

1. CLICKING HERE

2. Going to the WBKE iTunes Store Page, or searching for us on Stitcher!

I hope you enjoy the show, guys, because of a good few reasons it’s lacking Bobby, but my girlfriend Allie and I still had more than enough to say! We’d initially planned to just do a half hour, but we naturally ended up doubling that!

Now it’s time for a story though. This is one of my favorites and it comes to us from, as best as I can find, just “Johnny.” There’s something about it’s insanely simple twist that I really like. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But lets just jump right in:

The Couch

Ok, disclaimer: To the very best of my knowledge, this story is true. I don’t expect to convince you – truth be told, I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with it myself. Cliche’ as it may be, I really am a rational person, and, if not for this, I would probably be the most stone-faced atheist you’d ever meet. But, after much internal struggle and debate, I have come to the conclusion that there are things in life that simply can’t be explained with reason, at least in the form in which we know it. Logic, for all the trust we place in it, is really nothing more than a candle, all too easily snuffed out. And when it is gone, we are left alone in the dark, and everything we would scoff at by daylight suddenly becomes very believable.

Alright, before I wax too melodramatic, here’s my story.

I was very young; only 4 or 5, at most, before either of my siblings were born. It was just Mommy and Daddy and me, living in our little house in Great Bend, Kansas. Very quaint. We were a young family, without much money, and most of our furniture was second-hand.

It was the middle of the day; summer, hot, boring. I was playing marbles by myself on the thin carpet beside the huge, old, flower-patterned-couch. Mom was down the hall in the kitchen, and Dad was at work.

Why I was trying to roll marbles around on the carpet I don’t know – we had a perfectly good linoleum floor, after all. But there I was, swishing the marbles back and forth, happily bouncing them into each other. Then, in my overzealous enthusiasm, I rolled too hard. My favorite marble – the clear, ruby-red one, zipped into the dark space under the couch and was lost. Damnit. Dad wasn’t home, and he was the only one strong enough to move that huge old couch for me. I’d have to get my marble back myself.

I reached my hand under the couch, tentatively at first, then deeper.

Encountering no marbles, I pulled my hand out in disappointment.

Then, a hand reached out from under the couch back at me.
I remember the image vividly, and I suspect I always will. It was a slim hand, with tapered fingers – a woman’s hand. It was gnarled and wrinkled, as if aged, and it was dead black. Not black as in African, black as in dead. Of course, back then, I didn’t know that corpses blacken as they decompose, so I didn’t know what the black meant.

The hand reached out to me as far as it could, which was just up to the wrist. Then it retreated under the couch. Then it emerged again, this time pushing with it a little crumpled up, plastic bag with a logo on it I didn’t recognize. It waited, as if expecting me to take the bag. Then, when I didn’t, it pulled the bag back under the couch and was gone.

I got up, walked down to the kitchen, and told my Mommy what had happened.
Why didn’t I run screaming, or at least run? I don’t really know. All I can say is, I was a little kid; a hand reaching out from under the couch at me didn’t seem like that huge a deal. I hadn’t yet learned what was and was not permissible in reality. I had no worldview.

Mom was skeptical, but walked me back to the couch and explained how I was probably imagining things. She even reached her hand under the couch to convince me that nothing was down there. Later, Dad lifted the couch up for me, and the only thing under it was, of course, my missing marble, plus a few more marbles I didn’t even remember losing.

But here’s the scary part…

For years, I remembered this – I even developed a weird fantasy of little hand-people living under the couch, and I, in my childlike innocence, believed that they would catch me and take me away if I ever reached into their domain again. Then, as I grew older, I wrote the memory off as a dream I had had as a child – cute, but silly.

Then, a few years ago, I recounted the story to my mother.

She gave me a funny look, and told me she remembered it, because, after all, she had been there. She told me that she remembered me coming to her in the middle of the day and telling her about the hand under the couch, and remembered being highly disturbed by my story, since I was an extremely quiet, well-behaved kid who didn’t ever lie.

Then she told me about the couch itself. According to her, she and Dad had gotten the couch from the estate of an old woman who had actually died on it. This was the first time I had heard about this, but it sure explained why they got rid of the couch within a month of my story.

But here’s part that truly frightens me, even to this day. The part that I have to try so hard to get out of my mind some nights. Remember that bag the hand pushed towards me? I’ve never forgotten the logo that was on it. And, recently, (as in a few years ago), I saw the same logo again, on what looked like the same type of bag, in a hardware store.

It was a bag of utility razor-blades.

THE END

Well that’s a wrap on Halloween, everybody! I hope you enjoy the story, I hope you enjoy the show, and I hope you spread the word about us!

So please remember to follow us on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester), to like our Facebook Page, and to subscribe to our YouTube Channel! You can also send us comments or questions at WillAndBobby@gmail.com! We have some amazing announcements coming up, so keep an eye on us, guys!

See you again for episode 44 of WBKE on Sunday!

WBKE – Episode 41: Fetish Jade

Hey guys, welcome to a very special (VERY NSFW) episode of Will and Bobby Know Everything. Right off the bat, you’ll hear Bobby and me giving you this disclaimer:

This show sounds like shit (but no show will ever sound this bad again thanks to some new equipment we got), and this is the first show to our knowledge where the guest host seems to be genuinely annoyed by us. We debated all week whether or not to put this episode online, because there are quite a few moments where things get a little tense, but the fact of the matter is that our guests were perfectly friendly and interesting the clear majority of the time, and the tension itself is worth listening to. All in all, it’s a rough conversation, but I think it’s a great show!

So a huge thanks to our hosts Fetish Jade and Sophie, who I hope understand that my disclaimer is intended to give hopefully objective context for the conversation, and who I hope know we mean no harm! You can find them at FetishJade.com!

And here’s how to listen:

1. CLICK HERE!

2. Go to the WBKE iTunes Store page, or search for the show on the Stitcher smart phone app!

3. Read our insanely detailed How to Listen page!

Also be sure to follow us on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester) and like us on Facebook (and find more in our About Us page)! To win a super sweet prize, send interesting information or personal experiences with fetishes to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com! If we pick your fact/story, you will win an ACTUAL STUPID PRIZE! Also feel free to send comments/questions/hate mail!

Enjoy the show!

Episode 42 next week!

WBKE – Episode 37: Crambeaux

YO! This week on WBKE, I air out some dirty laundry, we talk about how terrifying the internet is, and then Bobby starts crying as he tells me how much he loves magic.

It’s fucking so weird and funny, so check it out! Here’s how:

Click here to listen straight from your browser!

Click here to check out the show’s iTunes page, or just look it up on the Stitcher smart phone app!

We’re also trying to get prepared for a Halloween episode of the show, and we want your help! We’re looking for you to submit scary stories, tales of things that terrify you, or just share with us things that you dread happening! You can email them to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com, or send them to us at our YouTube channel (click here), or leave a voicemail with your telling of the tale to our Skype name (WillAndBobby)! If you don’t have a story of your own, ask your friends to get involved! We want to read or play your scary stories on the show! The deadline is October 27th, which is a while away, but send those stories in ASAP!

Anyway, remember to subscribe to the YouTube channel, like the Facebook Page, and follow @WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester on Twitter! And make sure you check out our new features like Car Friends and This Week on Reddit!

Now go tell your goofy friends about the stupid show, and stay tuned, because we’re planning even more new features, coming soon!

Episode 38 next week!

WBKE – Episode 33: The Future of Will and Bobby

This episode is the most important thing in the world. It represents the future. Change. Experimentation. Stupidity. Maybe we’ll be sued.

Max Rose joins us on the show this week for a conversation covering information about him, some of which is confusing, we read a listener’s letter (booya!), and eventually we start talking about some new projects Bobby and I are working on. Projects that will hopefully be online soon. We also discuss something fucking weird that we’re putting online on Wednesday. It may or may not be pulled after it’s put up, so keep your eyes peeled, and get it as soon as possible. Wednesday. Remember. It’s really fucking funny and weird.

Anyway, I know I’ve piqued your interest, so enough of this, just:

Click here to listen from your browser, or get it on iTunes/Stitcher!

Click here go to our iTunes page, like our Facebook page, follow Bobby (@BobbyKoester) or me (@WillRogers2000) on Twitter, maybe donate, and email comments/questions/suggestions or offers to get involved with us to WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

No matter what, please help pass on the word about our goofy bullshit. Especially if you like it!

I’m excited. We’re working on funny stuff for you guys!

Episode 34 next week!

WBKE – Episode 31: Curses and Comedians

This week on Will and Bobby Know Everything we’re joined by our good friend Mike Schin in a conversation that ranges from how Poltergeist is an awesome movie to how much open-mic nights suck.

We also get an amazing horror story from Mike, Bobby tells some jokes, and we play one of the most engrossing, horrifying video games in recent memory: Slender.

Check this show out, guys, it’s a fucking hoot:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page, or just listen to the show on the free Apple/Android app Stitcher!

And remember to “like” our Facebook Page, follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby), email WillAndBobby@gmail.com with any comments or questions, and donate (if you want)!

In other news, Bobby and I are working hard on some fun new stuff! More info soon, hopefully!

Episode 32 next week!

WBKE – Episode 26: The Snake: The Most Incredible Creature on this Planet

Welcome to the 26th episode of Will and Bobby Know Everything!

It’s not really an official landmark, but this episode represents six solid months of WBKE!

Kind of cool, right?

Anyway, we’re joined this week by our buddy Peter to talk about:

Killer whales being assholes, freak shows, snakes, boobs, and strangely enough, we bring Goosebumps up again.

So as usual:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Or search for us on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher.

Also Apple has released their own iPhone/iPad app specifically for podcasts, so go download it, subscribe to us, and rate us!

There are also a couple more fun things that Bobby and I have for you:

Last week I posted the Part Three of Will and Bobby Wrote Something, which ends the explanation of one show and begins another! Click here to read it!

And we did Will and Bobby Know Everything LIVE last week! It was weird, fun, and encouraging enough to make me want to do it again. We told some stories that aren’t featured on the regular podcast, so click here to go watch it! You can even just leave it running in an alternate tab and listen to it, I guess!

We’re also putting out an open call to get a third person to help us out! If you or a friend are interested (and capable of) helping Bobby and I get our recording equipment set up, edit the podcast, or have a fancy high tech camera, please get in touch with us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com, because as of right now it’s just the two of us and there are a lot of things we want to write, shoot, edit, and put online!

So remember to donate (if you want), “like” our Facebook Page, follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby), and email WillAndBobby@gmail.com with any comments or questions. And go check out my girlfriend Allie’s Etsy Store Color Bloc, and Anthony Walker’s Band Camp page.

Thanks guys, I hope you enjoy the show.

Episode 27 next week!

WBKE – Episode 24: Lady and the Tramp

This week on WBKE, we’re joined by an amazing musician named Anthony Walker for a conversation that covers a startling amount of ground. This episode is about twice the length of an average episode of our show, because I honestly enjoy everything we talk about. As long as this episode is, there’s still more that isn’t making the cut! I just didn’t want to clip another minute, so enjoy our discussion of:

Shitty writing, philosophy, animal behavior, little people working as bouncers, forming bands, and The Poops (a band Bobby is/used to be in). We also play a fucking badass game toward the end of the show which I’m calling “Are You a Nice Person?” It’s genius, so enjoy that, because it’ll definitely be coming back.

So let me tell you about Anthony Walker. About 4 years ago, I was at a bar and there were different bands playing small sets. If you’ve listened to the show before, then you know that I (Will) am not the friendliest/nicest guy, and you can probably imagine that I don’t pay much attention to people I don’t know. Even still, I remember a guy playing a really awesome set. His music was really immersive. It totally grabbed my attention. Not long later, Anthony got a job with me at Fridays, and I instantly recognized him as the musician from the bar (which is also significant, because again, if you listen to the show, you know I have a fucking horrendous memory). He was that good.

For a good long time, on the odd occasion that I found myself hanging out and drinking at Fridays, I’d get fucking wasted (because everyone bought me drinks. It ruled), and inevitably Anthony and I would get around to drunkenly talking about how awesome it would be to have a combination music and comedy show.

Needless to say, I’m fucking stoked we had him on the show. So please go to his Band Camp page where you can set your own price for his music (Anthony says you can get it for free, but he’s nicer than me. Pay him.), and go to his personal website where you can info about him and links to a shocking number of sites like YouTube and Tumblr: Anthony Walker.

So back to the show:

Click here to listen straight from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Go search for “WBKE” on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Or for more detailed instructions, click here!

Let me remind you that there is going to be a LIVE WBKE this thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern, over at Vokle! Go check out the site and get comfortable with it (search “Will and Bobby Know Everything” and follow us), and like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get an update about when we’ve gone live!

Also email us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com will comments, suggestions, or questions for us to talk about! Remember that you can speak directly to us while we talk, too! It’s a video chat so get your webcam going and bring something to the table! It’ll be stupid and fun!

Enjoy this week’s episode, I did!

Also, at the end, enjoy Anthony’s song “Call Me Custer,” from This City Never Sleeps, which has been stuck in my head all week.

Allie and I painted our apartment today, and we were both walking around singing that song, so good. Also “Sundowners.”

Booyeah.

LIVE EPISODE THIS THURSDAY! EPISODE 25 NEXT WEEK!

WBKE – Episode 23: Travel

This week on WBKE, my girlfriend Allie Palmer is back on the show to talk about her experiences in travelling around the world.

One of them is mind-blowingly amazing, and I guess the other one is too…It’s just also incredibly fucked up.

On the show, we typically try to separate repeat-appearances of a guest host by about 10 episodes (unless we’re doing a two-parter). That being the case, the last time Allie was on the show was for Episode 13, and coincidentally the day this new episode is going online happens to not only be the day that Allie and I are moving into our first apartment together, but also on her 25th birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLIE!

So in all likelihood, as you listen to this show, Allie and I are setting up our place (including an office that I’ll use as a fancy little recording studio)!

Maybe you want to help make her day by checking out her Etsy Store: Color Bloc!

But anyway, listen to this episode, it’s so goddamn funny. I’m absurdly proud of it:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Or search for show on the FREE Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher as well as on basically any podcast database (like Zune…if for some reason you have a Zune)

If you need more detailed instructions, click here!

And we’re getting pretty damn close to the date of the live show, which is Thursday, June 28th at 8:30pm eastern on http://www.Vokle.com! Go to the site now and get comfortable with it! You can watch the live show without signing in at all, or you can create  a Vokle account or just log in via your Facebook or Twitter accounts! You’ll be able to submit questions for us to answer (either as text or a live video) and talk back to us as we goof around!

So like our Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby) to get updates about when we’re live and feel free to send comments or questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com

We really enjoy doing this show,  so if you like us, please help us spread the word about the show! If we make you chuckle, tell a friend or two to check us out!

Regardless, enjoy the show!

Episode 24 next week!

WBKE – Episode 20: Sports

Suit up, sports-fans, this week Bobby and I are joined by Michael Palmer to talk about the old pig-skin, hockey pucks, baseballs, and Air Bud!

We try to come up with new rules for all major sports, we discuss the afterlife for some reason, and we also have a brand new segment from my sister Kristen, which we’re calling Voice of the Nation with Kristen Rogers! It goes really well. Really well. Really well.

Anyway, here’s some important information: Bobby and I are planning a LIVE SHOW!

On Thursday, June 28th, log on to http://www.Vokle.com at 8:00pm eastern time to watch us do a live show, taking real questions, from real listeners! Be one of them! You don’t need to create an account, and you can log in via Facebook, so there’s really no excuse for not being there. You’ll also get to see the inside of my new apartment (this is Will), and maybe also see my girlfriend yell at me for embarrassing myself! Seriously, check that out, it’ll be fun, it’ll be like you’re in the room with us!

Anyway, back to this weeks WBKE:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page for the show!

Find us on the free Apple/Android/Blackberry app Stitcher!

Or click here for insanely detailed instructions for how to hear us!

No matter what, enjoy the show, tell your friends!

Now go like our Facebook Page, follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby), and email comments or questions (for the live show, too!) to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

Episode 21 next week!