This Week On Reddit: Saturday, December 22nd.

This week, someone posted a link to a youtube video where in which a man recorded 1 second of video every day for a year. Remember Noah Kalina, that weird guy with the sunken in eyes and crazy hair (hi Noah) and project where he took a photo of himself every day for something ridiculous like six years and compiled them? Set to some evocative classical music written by his girlfriend, the video was quick to make it into a goddamn hallmark commercial. This is not that video, however.
No, indeed put away your Kleenex and don’t worry about locking yourself in your room to sob quietly into a pillow just like every other night. This video is much more boring. But, if you like to watch a dozen shots of an old Asian man eating dinner, some nerds playing Magic: The Gathering, a woman in a hospital for fifteen days, and then some random shots of animals that you don’t actually have enough time to focus on, and then the occasional awkward person looking at the camera, this video is for you.

In other news, someone finally solved one of the biggest quandaries mankind has been faced with for ten years. Read here all about how you shouldn’t buy a dildo off of craigslist, especially if you’re gay and under 18. Strange that no one thought about not buying dildos off of craigslist before. Also look out for my cock ring etsy page coming soon.

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With all of this gun violence as of late, gun control is back on reddit. Recently, as you can see in this baby here Mortal Kombat was blamed for all of the school shootings in the past twenty years. I’d like to point out that Mortal Kombat had no guns. Okay maybe that one guy had a gun in the 3rd one, but it never killed anyone? This country hasn’t heard anything about gun violence since… the batman movie came out?

What people don’t realize is that these are hot topics in the news for now until: 1. Nothing is done about them for too long, 2. Someone takes drugs and eats another person’s face off, or 3. Some cute bear is drunk in the news.
Here, some man’s scary uncle Erik (see crazy Swiss metal band members who change C’s to K’s) finally came out and said what everyone’s been thinking for years; modding your car to look like a space ship is a waste of money and also makes you look like a retard. I don’t care if you have a racer-X mask, if you put a wing on a 99 Dodge Cargo Van, or if you flash gang symbols outside of the NASCAR Store (There’s actually a live action version of this at a mall near my hometown. At least there was when I was 16). Isn’t it a little abrasive to make sure your sport is actually written in all caps always? Also, in this gentle little post he pretty much dishes out the advice of spending the money on a set of tools and learning how the fuck your car works, which is crazy Swedish for “man up.” Bullying at it’s finest.
Everything else sucked, but someone posted some nudes and a picture of Link from the Zelda franchise kissing Princess Zelda. Awesome.
Oh, also it’s the 22nd and the world didn’t end yesterday, so you can all suck a bean if you spent your life savings on an apocalypse shelter. Maybe the Mayan translation for apocalypse is actually “pudgy white morons arguing about guns and Christmas.”

WBKE – Episode 46: A Robot Pooping Batteries

This week: we’re joined by Michael Palmer for a legitimately interesting, intellingent, and funny conversation which we’ve summarized as “A Robot Pooping Batteries,” which may be the stupidest thing in the fucking world. But seriously, enjoy this show, we’re fucking smart!

Now, everybody should go check out a project that Michael is working on to build an outdoor classroom and treehouse for a preschool! You can check out their amazing work and help them by checking out their Facebook page by clicking HERE!

NOW THEN:

Click here to listen to the show!

Or look us up on iTunes or Stitcher!

We’re also both up on twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester), Facebook, and we have a TON of videos up on YouTube!

As a matter of fact, you’re really going to want to check out the YouTube channel because now we’re launched a new show called Game Friends! Twice a week we’re going to be playing and reviewing video games! It’s fucking stupid and a lot of fun, so please check it out, and maybe give us a like or subscribe!

And please send comments/questions/suggestions of topics to discuss, and suggestions of games to play online to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com

I hope you enjoy the show guys, maybe help spread the word!

Episode 47 next week!

WBKE – Episode 45: Special Episode 45

This week on Will and Bobby Know Everything, Bobby explains where he’s been for the past couple of weeks, and Will gets bullied in a Nintendo game!

Click here to listen or look us up on iTunes or the Stitcher smart phone app!

Also check us out on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester), Facebook, and YouTube!

What do you want to hear/see us do next? Let us know: WillAndBobby@gmail.com

Thanks for listening guys, I hope you enjoy the show!

Episode 46 next week!

WBKE – Kinda/Sorta Halloween Special! AND Scary Story Time: October 2012

Hey guys, first up,  I have to apologize for being a day late in getting these posts to you. Here in New Jersey we’ve holed up, waiting out the rain in the dark, but all that’s behind us now because I’ve got not only the Halloween podcast for you, but also this month’s Scary Story Time!

So first up, here’s an hour long show filled with not only submitted stories from friends and listeners, but also filled with some of our own experiences, which you can get by:

1. CLICKING HERE

2. Going to the WBKE iTunes Store Page, or searching for us on Stitcher!

I hope you enjoy the show, guys, because of a good few reasons it’s lacking Bobby, but my girlfriend Allie and I still had more than enough to say! We’d initially planned to just do a half hour, but we naturally ended up doubling that!

Now it’s time for a story though. This is one of my favorites and it comes to us from, as best as I can find, just “Johnny.” There’s something about it’s insanely simple twist that I really like. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But lets just jump right in:

The Couch

Ok, disclaimer: To the very best of my knowledge, this story is true. I don’t expect to convince you – truth be told, I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with it myself. Cliche’ as it may be, I really am a rational person, and, if not for this, I would probably be the most stone-faced atheist you’d ever meet. But, after much internal struggle and debate, I have come to the conclusion that there are things in life that simply can’t be explained with reason, at least in the form in which we know it. Logic, for all the trust we place in it, is really nothing more than a candle, all too easily snuffed out. And when it is gone, we are left alone in the dark, and everything we would scoff at by daylight suddenly becomes very believable.

Alright, before I wax too melodramatic, here’s my story.

I was very young; only 4 or 5, at most, before either of my siblings were born. It was just Mommy and Daddy and me, living in our little house in Great Bend, Kansas. Very quaint. We were a young family, without much money, and most of our furniture was second-hand.

It was the middle of the day; summer, hot, boring. I was playing marbles by myself on the thin carpet beside the huge, old, flower-patterned-couch. Mom was down the hall in the kitchen, and Dad was at work.

Why I was trying to roll marbles around on the carpet I don’t know – we had a perfectly good linoleum floor, after all. But there I was, swishing the marbles back and forth, happily bouncing them into each other. Then, in my overzealous enthusiasm, I rolled too hard. My favorite marble – the clear, ruby-red one, zipped into the dark space under the couch and was lost. Damnit. Dad wasn’t home, and he was the only one strong enough to move that huge old couch for me. I’d have to get my marble back myself.

I reached my hand under the couch, tentatively at first, then deeper.

Encountering no marbles, I pulled my hand out in disappointment.

Then, a hand reached out from under the couch back at me.
I remember the image vividly, and I suspect I always will. It was a slim hand, with tapered fingers – a woman’s hand. It was gnarled and wrinkled, as if aged, and it was dead black. Not black as in African, black as in dead. Of course, back then, I didn’t know that corpses blacken as they decompose, so I didn’t know what the black meant.

The hand reached out to me as far as it could, which was just up to the wrist. Then it retreated under the couch. Then it emerged again, this time pushing with it a little crumpled up, plastic bag with a logo on it I didn’t recognize. It waited, as if expecting me to take the bag. Then, when I didn’t, it pulled the bag back under the couch and was gone.

I got up, walked down to the kitchen, and told my Mommy what had happened.
Why didn’t I run screaming, or at least run? I don’t really know. All I can say is, I was a little kid; a hand reaching out from under the couch at me didn’t seem like that huge a deal. I hadn’t yet learned what was and was not permissible in reality. I had no worldview.

Mom was skeptical, but walked me back to the couch and explained how I was probably imagining things. She even reached her hand under the couch to convince me that nothing was down there. Later, Dad lifted the couch up for me, and the only thing under it was, of course, my missing marble, plus a few more marbles I didn’t even remember losing.

But here’s the scary part…

For years, I remembered this – I even developed a weird fantasy of little hand-people living under the couch, and I, in my childlike innocence, believed that they would catch me and take me away if I ever reached into their domain again. Then, as I grew older, I wrote the memory off as a dream I had had as a child – cute, but silly.

Then, a few years ago, I recounted the story to my mother.

She gave me a funny look, and told me she remembered it, because, after all, she had been there. She told me that she remembered me coming to her in the middle of the day and telling her about the hand under the couch, and remembered being highly disturbed by my story, since I was an extremely quiet, well-behaved kid who didn’t ever lie.

Then she told me about the couch itself. According to her, she and Dad had gotten the couch from the estate of an old woman who had actually died on it. This was the first time I had heard about this, but it sure explained why they got rid of the couch within a month of my story.

But here’s part that truly frightens me, even to this day. The part that I have to try so hard to get out of my mind some nights. Remember that bag the hand pushed towards me? I’ve never forgotten the logo that was on it. And, recently, (as in a few years ago), I saw the same logo again, on what looked like the same type of bag, in a hardware store.

It was a bag of utility razor-blades.

THE END

Well that’s a wrap on Halloween, everybody! I hope you enjoy the story, I hope you enjoy the show, and I hope you spread the word about us!

So please remember to follow us on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester), to like our Facebook Page, and to subscribe to our YouTube Channel! You can also send us comments or questions at WillAndBobby@gmail.com! We have some amazing announcements coming up, so keep an eye on us, guys!

See you again for episode 44 of WBKE on Sunday!

WBKE – Episode 42: JOIN OUR CULT

Kaboom everybody! This week on Will and Bobby Know Everything, I (Will) instantly start telling Bobby something that I knew he’d hate. Turns out I was absolutely right. We very quickly segue into a conversation about what distopian future we’re most likely heading for, and play with the rules of time travel! Bobby also invents a new sport, and I absolutely believe it’s going to be the next big thing.

Fucking so stupid.

Anyway, listen closely to hear the rules for this week’s contest! Whoever sends in the most creative explanation for a sound Bobby is making will win an ACTUAL PRIZE! Just send your answer to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

And here’s how to listen:

1. CLICK HERE!

2. Go to the WBKE iTunes Store page, or search for the show on the Stitcher smart phone app!

3. Read our insanely detailed How to Listen page!

Also be sure to follow us on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester) and like us on Facebook (and find more in our About Us page)! And please feel free to send any comments or questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

Remember, we’re also looking for people to send in scary stories for a Halloween episode, so please help us out by asking your family and friends if they’ve ever seen a ghost or experienced anything that chilled them to the bone!

Thanks guys, and enjoy the show!

Episode 43 next week!

WBKE – Episode 41: Fetish Jade

Hey guys, welcome to a very special (VERY NSFW) episode of Will and Bobby Know Everything. Right off the bat, you’ll hear Bobby and me giving you this disclaimer:

This show sounds like shit (but no show will ever sound this bad again thanks to some new equipment we got), and this is the first show to our knowledge where the guest host seems to be genuinely annoyed by us. We debated all week whether or not to put this episode online, because there are quite a few moments where things get a little tense, but the fact of the matter is that our guests were perfectly friendly and interesting the clear majority of the time, and the tension itself is worth listening to. All in all, it’s a rough conversation, but I think it’s a great show!

So a huge thanks to our hosts Fetish Jade and Sophie, who I hope understand that my disclaimer is intended to give hopefully objective context for the conversation, and who I hope know we mean no harm! You can find them at FetishJade.com!

And here’s how to listen:

1. CLICK HERE!

2. Go to the WBKE iTunes Store page, or search for the show on the Stitcher smart phone app!

3. Read our insanely detailed How to Listen page!

Also be sure to follow us on Twitter (@WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester) and like us on Facebook (and find more in our About Us page)! To win a super sweet prize, send interesting information or personal experiences with fetishes to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com! If we pick your fact/story, you will win an ACTUAL STUPID PRIZE! Also feel free to send comments/questions/hate mail!

Enjoy the show!

Episode 42 next week!